Enter the raw, unedited, unadulterated, uncut, undulating mish-mash that is my mind. The views and opinions expressed herein are what they are...my own. Enjoy them or abhor them, you've made it this far. Hang on and enjoy the ride!
Friday, July 20, 2007
Don't take it for granted
"Never take anything or anyone in life for granted."
Its almost cliche as this phrase, in its various shapes and forms, litters the landscape of motivational speeches, graduation commencements, eulogies, and the departing words dispensed from those in the fateful clutches of death. These words are powerful, they are significant, and they possess the capacity to shape human existence in a manner seemingly reserved only for works of fiction and happy-go-lucky fairy tales. So simple is the concept yet so elusive is its application in the every day existence of mankind. To truly and genuinely appreciate and embrace your very existence, its moments, and those in it, with all of the feeling and substance God has granted us. To live life fully, capturing each waking moment as if you've experienced it for the first time...and are experiencing it for the last. To ingest the minuscule to the massive, the insignificant to the insurmountable, the meek to the monumental, without prejudice, bias, or regard for whatever inhibitions and insecurities society may have selfishly bestowed upon you.
Perhaps in the inherent simplicity of this philosophy there is a slight taste of overkill that dulls the palette in life's repetitive actions and reactions. After all, most everything in these lives of ours tends to lose it's luster with time and overuse. Remember the first time you tied your shoe on your own? The glory of achievement after countless failed attempts, and the subsequent pride each morning as you meticulously intertwined those laces until your shoes were snugged just right around those little size 11's. The care and attention to detail given to the length of each loop, not to mention the bragging rights awarded in the presence of those who have yet to master this coveted skill set. But eventually as the months and years pass it becomes so routine that you can now do it in our sleep. Such is the case with nearly every aspect of our lives. The more you are subjected to something the more it blends into the fabric of life. It is no less a significant part of our lives, but it all but vanishes from the forefront of our minds.
The concept of never taking anything for granted is undoubtedly as foreign and incomprehensible to a child as capitalism. Sure capitalism flourishes all around them and has a direct impact on their existence, but so what, I have dinosaurs and Barbie dolls to play with! Hopefully not at the same time...unless the dinosaurs are eating the Barbies, then its all good. Such is the mindset and mentality of a child, and subsequently the teenage adolescent. A child loves his/her parents but it is almost a rite of passage to take them for granted. "The big picture" has yet to develop in the minds of youth and therefore they are far more prone to take life and all of its essential contents for granted. Fortunately as this concept develops with age and maturity, you may salvage the ability to appreciate everyone and everything you've taken for granted in your young naive mind.
I grew up with 2 sisters and one brother, with myself being the oldest. There were only 3 years between us all, my youngest brother and sister being twins. We were raised by our mother and forged through life with a non-existent father. As our Mom worked to support 4 kids we fended for, and were dependent upon ourselves to get through each day. We tended to roam from home to home, at one point living in 5 houses in a 4 year span. We got ourselves ready for school, hiked to the bus, minded ourselves after school, and often made our own dinner before Mom came home. It was a test of self reliance day in and day out and as I now look back on it all I am amazed at what we accomplished, growing into responsible, successful individuals void of a criminal record.
Being so close in age, along with the 2 boy & 2 girl dynamic, there was no shortage of drama, fighting, bickering, and tormenting among us. Every brother vs. sister, sister vs. sister & brother vs. brother scenario played out as it does in every family. It seemed more often than not there was an evident rift amongst any one combination of us. Perhaps it was just the nature of sibling rivalry, or perhaps it was our own method of dealing with the curve balls life threw at us by creating walls around ourselves. Whatever the case may have been we were all in the same unique and deteriorating boat doing our best to stay afloat.
As a whole we were a family fairly void of expressions of emotion, except of course for anger, resentment, and the subsequent flow of tears. Don't get me wrong, we had more than our share of fun and laughs and for the most part we all got along well. But we weren't ones to ever say I love you, or show any form of expression along those lines. Why that is I still can't quite figure out. It wasn't until we all moved out of the house and on to our own paths in life did we finally breach that wall. As we all matured, finding ourselves and who we are, we seemed to grow a deeper appreciation for the relationships and bonds we now had. As we often reminisce about the crazy stories of our childhood it is only now that we understand much more fully the life we made it through together. The good times, the bad times, the worse times, and the funny as hell times...regardless of who was pissed off at who or where we stood with one another, we all shared the same experiences and lived the same stories.
Well over a decade has passed since we dispersed into our worlds and we are now all scattered throughout the east coat. My Sister Jen is in Georgia with her husband and 2 amazing kids who you could watch for hours because they are the funniest kids you'll ever see. To see her finally find her truest happiness and how she has grown so much into the most amazing and kind woman I've ever known. My brother Kevin grew from a scrawny little kid into a rock solid Marine, living in Virginia Beach with his wife and 3 kids who are the funniest and most good natured kids you will meet. The effort and work he puts into his life is nothing short of inspiring as he works on his degrees, officer training, and learning how to kill a human 340 ways with a pen cap. I've never been more proud of anyone in my life. My sister Kellie, who lives outside of Philly is the most talented artist/interior decorator/whatever the hell else she does, I know. Her head is screwed on tighter than just about anyone and her drive and ambition, pursuing her goals through so many ups and downs has been simply amazing. I am proud to call myself the brother of these 3.
So in spite of all the trials and tribulations, we have all turned out pretty damn well. As time passes and distances widen between us, we have continued to grow closer. If you think about it, its pretty strange how when you see each other every day you are further apart than when you see each other a few times a year. As we all go about our lives, moving on, bettering ourselves and popping out more children, I find that I miss them all more and more with each passing day. More so now than I ever have before. I remember the days when we would all hang out at home, the holiday dinners when we were all at the same table, shooting hoops and playing hockey with my brother, kicking one sister's ass to save the other, being able to hang out with each other whenever we wanted...all of the things at the time I thought would last forever. The moments I never realized would soon pass and would be so far and few between. All of the moments I took for granted.
Had I known then what I know now, would I have changed anything? I can't say for sure. But I do know that I would have appreciated those moments even more than I did then. I would have let the little things slide off my back and not hold grudges. I would have continued to pee in the back yard every morning when I woke up in highschool without bitching at my sister for hogging the bathroom. I would have spent more time in the living room than in my bedroom. I would have been a bigger part of the family as opposed to being labeled the Family Hater. So I guess yes...I would have done a few things differently.
I always think of how great it would be if we all still lived near each other. I think about all of the kids and how they rarely get to see their cousins. I think of how I just recently saw my nephews and niece for the first time and how much it sucks being an uncle but never really being an uncle. I think of how cool it was for us growing up and hanging with our cousins and how much a part of our lives they were. And I think of how our kids will never get to experience that. But I guess it makes you appreciate the short time we do have together even more.
Right about now as my siblings read this there are undoubtedly a few tears flowing. So I'm gonna wrap this up now because I don't have time for that kind of weepy pussy emotional bullshit. Suck it up assholes...if we all pitch in we'll have this place spotless in 20 minutes!
On this 4th of July, I cannot help but be reminded of the abysmal deterioration of our nation on a political and ethical level as it continues to tarnish the very fabric and foundation this country was founded on, and the very freedom we celebrate today. I find myself engulfed in an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and inner fatigue as it continues to spiral out of control. I have immersed myself in the ongoings of this "government" and the manner in which it has dictated our great nation for many, many years...to the point where I recently had to all but ignore it for my own sanity and hope for our future...for my child's future. It is however virtually impossible to remain blind and "blissfully ignorant" to the injustices, gross shortcomings, and continually blatant disregard for everything this country stands for. It is infuriating, in part, to witness these atrocities, but the true kick in the balls is the apathy and ignorance of the American people.
We continue to live with our heads in the sand, engulfed in our respective bubbles, concerned only with the superficial and materialistic. This war, these lies, the constitution and laws being rewritten, ignored and essentially shit on...they have yet to have a truly direct impact on our every day existence - YET. They have YET to penetrate the bubbles in which we so ignorantly dwell. We see gas prices spike, drop a bit, then shoot up again. We bitch and complain about the unfairness and injustice of this cat & mouse game without really knowing why its happening. It's them damn Iraqis!! Them towel headed Iranians!! It's the greedy oil companies!! We speculate based on vague perceptions of a world we essentially know nothing of.
Every so often we flip through news channels like Fox News or CNN, their screens broadcasting snippets of the war talking about cities and provinces we've never heard of in a country 95% of the population couldn't find on a globe if their life depended on it. They speak of factions and tribes like the Kurds, Sunnis, and Shiites which we interpret as just a bunch of angry Muslims who want to rein terror on our homeland. We fall victim to the fear mongering and the biased reporting of the American media and begin lumping all Muslims into the insane suicidal terrorist column...likely next to the column of black people who have been categorized as drug running, gun toting gangsta thugs. In these brief, hand selected, pre-approved, censored clips, we are given a misrepresentation so profound it rivals the editing chop jobs of your average reality show...cutting and pasting to accentuate the drama, even if the truth is stretched a bit. Or wholeheartedly fabricated. And as we cringe and shake our heads at mere fractions of the reality of the situation, we flip on over to reality show bliss. After all, "The news it too negative. It brings me down."
As I write these words, knowing they will elicit nothing more than, "Huh?" or "There he goes again...I just don't get all that political stuff" or "Oh shit The Bachelor is on!!", I can't help but be overwhelmed once more with a feeling of hopelessness. Sure it's a bit cathartic to get it out, but it doesn't do much good venting to a wall now does it?
My intentions are not to draw intense debate or to suck people in to my views and opinions. If I accomplish one thing in my occasional rants it is to simply spread awareness in hope that people will take a few minutes out of their day to educate themselves on what it REALLY happening. Look at the difference between the US news media vs. the international media. Fox News gives you the news Rupert Murdoch and the Republicans want you to hear. The BBC news will give you the real story without the sugar coating. We simply are not afforded the luxury of ignorance in this most critical of times in this nation. Its not rocket science, its simply a matter of reading an article or two. Baby steps. You are not impacted now, but buffer zone has been breached and that time is about up. When we're sucker punched by the corruption do you want to see it coming and know why? Of would you rather be caught off guard and have it completely rock your world not knowing how, where, why, or what to do? You have a choice, and a responsibility. Step up America. Before its too late...and I tell you now, its almost too late.
The video clip below is a little miracle in my plight for awareness and the truth. As I've stated, the media's reluctance to communicate the truth and tell it like it is has been one of the greatest deterrents to accountability of those who deserve it, and the knowledge we all need. Keith Olberman of MSNBC aired this bit after Bush decided to circumvent the law, the courts and the jury, essentially overturning a verdict of a "man" (Scooter Libby) in his administration who was guilty of many wrong doings (read it on CNN.com). It exemplifies beyond measure the corruption and repulsive abuse of power this administration has shown since the beginning. To see someone in the mainstream media have the balls to FINALLY say what needs to be said is a huge step in obliterating the wall of ignorance we live in. If you do nothing else, please take a moment to view it.
Thanks for hanging in there for yet another rant. I can't say I'll ever give up until the insanity stops. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of awareness and education. Use this freedom...while we still have it.
If you destroy the foundation of this country to defend it, then what are you defending?
“To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.” Theodore Roosevelt
“The greatest tragedy is not the brutality of evil people, but rather the silence of the good people.” Martin Luther King Jr.
“What good fortune for governments that the people do not think.” Adolf Hitler
