Man, something is awry in this world of ours. Aside from the obvious war and turmoil that is festering like a vaseline covered zit on a 14 year old boy. We're all well aware of the seemingly apocalyptic demise lurking in the air like some foul stench of death...piled on worse than my over usage of analogies. It's not the insane weather, global warming, or extinction of thousands of species every hour. These are all global calamities that are evident and undeniable. What I'm referring to is on a more personal, localized level. An eerie and tragic uprising so vast that it can't help but slap me upside the head with a good ol' dose of humility...and fear.

Everywhere around me friends and acquaintances are falling victim to numerous ailments and medical conditions. It seems to have come out of nowhere, a surprise attack of illness so massive it can't help but raise suspicion and wonder. What the hell is going on? I understand that we are all mortal and are not immune to the ravages of rogue cells and molecular anarchists. The world of medicine can only reach so far as the viruses and diseases catch on to our defenses and morph into impenetrable cocoons, fending off our antibodies and elixirs like a fly on the windshield of a race car. SMACK!! SPLAT!!! Gone.

I suppose as time takes its course and we transition from the immortality of youth to the creaking, aching and creeping days of old age, these things are bound to increase. But for the love of God, I'm in the infancy of my 30's! I'm not ready to see friends and loved ones take a hit like this. The sudden surge of cancer has been jaw-dropping. Just when I pick myself up off the floor from my astonishment of the first 3, a 4th has been struck. What the hell is going on I say?

Perhaps our ever increasing need for a no fat, no sugar, no carb diet and lifestyle is finally giving us a dose of "Oh bye the way...” For every reaction there is an equal and opposite reaction. The chemicals and processed shit that infests these so called "healthy alternatives" are just that...alternatives. Alternatives to actual, real food. Genetically engineered, laboratory made ingredients one molecule removed of plastic. Saran Wrap morphing into margarine. This is the price we pay for trying to do what we believe is the right thing for our health.

Or perhaps this is rooted from our gluttonous lifestyle of fries, shakes and insatiable thirst for cow. Animals pumped with hormones and antibiotics, which in turn are ingested into our bodies. Plants, fruits and veggies laden with pesticides and herbicides. Facial products, hair products, lotions, oils and "Made with aloe and Vitamin E" shampoos. Let us not forget about the chemistry final exam surrounding these "natural" ingredients.

What the HELL is going on?

Every day a new ailment nudges its way to the forefront of the mainstream media.

"Do you find your mind constantly wandering at times when you should be focused? Thinking of what to make for dinner, what to wear tomorrow, or what tomorrow’s weather will be instead of focusing on your child's story of his days adventures? Reminisce about the humorous twists and turns of Will Wonka and the Chocolate Factory while you should be filling out your TPS reports? You have ADD my friend! Gotta pill for it...and your doc today!"

"Leg twitching during your sleep, bouncing feverishly under your desk at work, or bucking like a bronco during sex? Restless Leg Syndrome baby!! Gotta pill for it...race to your doc NOW!!!"

"It's not a going problem asshole...it's a GROWING problem!! Gotta a fucking pill!!!"

"Herpes...it's not just for skanks and prostitutes anymore. Pills baby pills!!"

I recently got over what was by far the longest most frustrating flu I've ever encountered. I've never been sick for more than 3-4 days. Like a bully in gym class I give viruses atomic wedgies and lock them in their locker until the bell rings to go home. They may catch me off guard and knock me down, but I bounce back and bitch slap them fast. Not this one. 3 solid weeks of misery. It was a resilient strain. A strain resistant to a 10 DAY ANTIBIOTIC. I'm not a big believer in antibiotics and stay away from them at all cost, but this one was too big to ignore. 10 days and not a dent.

Something is certainly awry and it’s spreading fast. From cancer to the common cold we're falling like dominoes. While you can't control or foresee the big ones, do your best to take care of yourselves and the minor ailments will hopefully take heed. Never take for granted the health you have, and for that matter the health of those you love. We are not immortal nor are we impenetrable. We all know this, but every so often a wake up call is in order to remind us that our lives and our health are as precious as anything we have.

What the hell is going on? Beats the hell out of me.

It's been 41 days and I'm still torn up inside. My heart ripped to shreds as if it had happened mere moments ago. I honestly didn't think it would be this difficult to overcome. I mean, there is a definite period of shock and grieving that inevitably comes with events like this, but wow...41 days.

At one time or another in each of our respective lives we will encounter a definitive moment, event, or occurrence so intense, we will forever remember the very moment in time in which it was thrust upon us. You may have been cooking dinner, driving home from a long day at work, or wrapping up a nice long dry hump during the spin cycle of your washing machine. Every detail is as crystal clear in your memory as the very moment it occurred. Where were you when Neil Armstrong first step foot on the moon? When Kennedy was shot? When the Berlin wall tumbled? When OJ lead 50 police cars on a torrid 25 mph chase on the LA freeway? When the cock sucking coward terrorist swine struck on 9/11? Chances are if you've lived to witness any of these moments you have a clear recollection of where you were and what you were doing when you heard, or saw these events take place.

41 days...

I can't shake it. Perhaps it was the intensive non-stop news coverage that still flashes in bursts in my head. The 24 hour media blitz for weeks on end. It was all just too much for me to bear, a sensory overload of raw emotion. My dreams are plagued with flashbacks of Wolf Blitzer coupled with the hazy remnants of Larry King. These ancient men who by all rational laws of nature should not be alive, working feverish overtime to provide up-to-the-second coverage of a national calamity. I just can't seem to shake it...when will you subside this demon inside?

41 days...

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder perhaps? It would certainly be warranted. Seems to be all the rage these days. All the kids have it. It's the new ADD and Restless Leg Syndrome. Gotta drug for it...ask me how!

41 days...

41 days since you've been gone, my sweet, voluptuous Anna Nicole. The temptress of America, a legend in her short time. The Marilyn Monroe of our generation some say. I say bullshit. Marilyn MonHOE had nothing on Anna. Anna's immense impact on society and the very world in which we live has been brilliantly illustrated in the media frenzy that followed her untimely and tragic demise. The war in Iraq? Oh, there's a war? Push that to page 2. No wait, make that page 3...there's a custody battle brewing here! Massive blizzard slams the Northeast...a ravishing flood strikes Indonesia...The stock market takes the largest one day plunge in history, the arctic icecap will be a regulation sized ice hockey rink in 5 years. The sky is falling!! The sky is falling!! Falling indeed, for Anna herself has fallen.

Anna's intentional weight gain, substance abuse, and deceptively believable downward spiral; followed by her miraculous turn around physically and mentally, was a mere ploy to inspire those who are themselves obese and strung out. A risky and meticulously calculated maneuver, Anna proved to us all that you can overcome any obstacle no matter how immense with a little strength, willpower, perseverance...and a few hundred million dollars inherited from a deceased great-great-grandfather/husband. Anna Nicole Smith epitomized what we all aspire to be and what each of us hope and desire to have within ourselves.

41 days...

The pain subsides a little with each passing day, due large in part to an exorbitant amount of xanax and percocet...my way of holding on to a piece of Anna's legacy. As the story fades from the front page of every legitimate newspaper; as the constant scrolling coverage at the bottom of every news channel dissipates; as the persistent interrupting BREAKING NEWS coverage trickles from every 10 minutes to every hour; and the flashy THE DEATH OF ANNA NICOLE graphics and musical scores are sent to the archives of monumentally historic news events as well as the Smithsonian; the so-called "top stories" of war, politics, global warming, current local and global events, once again barge their way back into the forefront of the mainstream media like some spotlight starved diva.

41 days...

It was bound to happen. The grieving process will unfold as it should and we must all find a way to carry on with our lives...somehow. But that solid month of intense coverage and focus will forever be embedded in my heart and mind. This will be my Berlin Wall, my OJ chase...my 9/11.

41 days and counting...