It was only a matter of time...something was amiss; there was a vibe in the air; the raw stench of impending doom. We watch, we wait, cautious of every move, every step...vigilant, thirsty for resolve. It was only a matter of time...they wait, patiently in the shadows. Waiting for the very second we display an ounce of complacency, dormancy, indulgency in our gluttonous, self-absorbed Zionist ways. It was bound to happen, as we are our own weakness. Surely we have brought it upon ourselves. We have yet to learn from generations past, so we continue to be blinded by time. We build an immunity to the scare, the threat, the warnings, watches, color-coded systems of fear like some poisonous green, blue, yellow, orange and red striped lollipop. We suck it down like a fat kid does cake. A cliché, sure...but its analogy for the time we're in, the battle we face, and the war we wage. It is, my friends...TERROR!!!

That's right, it's everywhere. Behind every shadow, in the alleys and in the valleys, in the parks and in the malls, inside the walls, under the bed...and most importantly...TERROR in our heads. TERROR is everything and everywhere, it is the alpha and the omega...the beginning and the end.

But we are strong, over a quarter BILLION strong! They may have sucker punched us once, but we'll be damned if it happens again. We WON'T let it happen again! Not on our watch! We're ready you sons of bitches, and we're vigilant as a motherfucker!! A very wise man once said,

"There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee -- that says, fool me once, shame on -- shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again."

These words have never held more true than they do in the times we now live. Fool us!! They can't get fooled again!!! Damn right Mr. President...damn right.

And so my friends, we find ourselves once again staring down the barrel of a beastly cannon called TERROR. Like the menacing, jagged, flesh tearing jaws of a great white shark in heat, TERROR is hungry and were the only meal on the menu. Take out anyone?

The TERRORISTS have connived yet another devious scheme to threaten liberty and the American way. A scheme that derived in the country we once fought to gain the very independence we now fight to protect. A scheme so simplistic in nature that it evaded even the most masterful minds of Homeland Security. Who would have thought that something as seemingly innocent as a bottle of water could be the centerpiece of "...a plot to commit mass murder on an unimaginable scale"? And did the threat of toothpaste get buried at the bottom of a "To Do" pile, perhaps behind the Hurricane Katrina Emergency Preparation Plans? We simply never considered the destructive capabilities of toothpaste. Not to mention Shampoo.

For as long as TERRORIST live under rocks, in sand dunes, and places where people look like Mexicans but possess a mild intangible quality that separates them from Mexicans, they will continue to devise more complex strategies and wicked ideas to destroy our livelihood. And we must stay one step ahead of the game to survive.

As reports about the alleged terror plot to blow up planes with liquids poured over the Atlantic into our homes, every media and communications outlet ran continual in-depth coverage of the "BREAKING NEWS". Synthesizers programmed with ominous tones and sound effects painted an audible picture of the crisis at hand...and the undeniable severity of it. The ratings implications are monumental. Graphic artists race to create the screen images that will be plastered on your screen for the next 168 hours, attempting to convey the raw emotion and fervor of this thing called TERROR. 3-dimensional red, bold and italic lettering screaming of TERROR!!

As the story is reiterated, field reporters take to the streets to find the inside scoop that will give their station the edge, and their career a boost. It's moments like these that separate the national news anchors from the paperboys. This is what they live for, this is where they thrive, the action is now. TERROR IS NOW!

Reporting from "The Aisles of TERROR" in local grocery stores, we are shown the instruments of death that we unknowingly encounter every day. Like the thwarted plot of Richard Reid, the "Shoe Bomber", we are shown once again how everyday items can be turned into heinous weapons of TERROR. Bottled water, toothpaste, Gatorade, even baby bottles with breast milk!! EVERY liquid is suspect.

"Excuse me, what's that in your bladder sir? Is that liquid I detect? We'll need you to urinate into this cup behind the protective blast shield to verify the substance youre holding within yourself is safe and not a weapon of TERROR".

That's how we stay one step ahead of TERROR. "Fool me -- you can't get fooled again."

Shoes, liquids, box cutters, airplanes, subways, public places and brownish faces. Only a fraction of the growing list of items, people and substances that could result in "the imminent threat of TERROR". And where will it end? Tampon TNT, Nitroglycerine breast implants, incendiary wigs, agent orange juice, belt buckle cruise missiles...like some freakishly high-tech contraption from a James Bond movie, they're planning it, somewhere, as we speak.

So remain vigilant America!! Heighten your awareness of your everyday surroundings and those in it. Always keep your personal threat level on red...for SEVERE!! Rhymes with FEAR. A coincidence Im sure, but you never can be too sure in this time of...TERROR!!

So wherever you are, and whatever you're doing should you take the time to stand down from your watch post of freedom to read this...be alert, and be vigilant!! How well do you know your neighbors? Your mailman? Do you know what's REALLY in your medicine cabinet? Meter Maid? Or martyr for Allah? Look around you...your furniture, your pet, the computer screen you're staring at, even the shit that you take 15 minutes after reading this. For you could be staring face to face with...........TERROR!!!!